EGX Rezzed 2016

Last year I came, I saw, I forgot then I wrote about some of the games I played at EGX Rezzed 2015. Oops, I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game. These games to be precise.



I was pretty intrigued about this one after seeing the slick announcement trailer put out just before the show. It looked like a modern take of Syndicate with a little bit of Fez styling, and that’s exactly how it played too. There were also nudists, which I don’t remember in either of those games.

The movement feels right, the fighting is fresh and interesting. Really all this needs is more levels added as the ground mechanics and aesthetic themes are pretty solid right now. The devs seem very eager to focus on a multiplayer mode, which at once seems exciting but I’m personally wary of due to how much extra work that’ll be. I’d hate for it to distract from them delivering the full potential this game has as a single-player experience.



The Leftfield collection is a great space at Rezzed that does lots of non-traditional development and game interaction. Last year there was a coffin, this year there was a knife that chopped at people’s fingers.

But the knife machine was broken every time I went over to try it out, so I ended up confirming how shit my geography is. The World Is Flat is controlled using a giant exercise ball, which you spin around as your “world prop” to find whatever country you’re prompted to within a time limit. It was actually good fun, and I think it has real educational possibilities.

I mean, I can now tell you where fucking Burkina Faso is for one.



There were lots of local co-op games this year at Rezzed, a trend I quite like to give more variety to a party than Gang Beasts and Mount Your Friends. Lacking the swinging dicks of the latter title, Overcooked is great for turning your friends into swinging dicks.

It’s Cook, Serve, Delicious! only now with multiple people helping to prep each dish as it comes up for order. So up to 4 people now have to juggle chopping, cooking, cleaning and plating dishes which can either lead to a lot of shouting and chaos, or one time when I played with 3 strangers a strange harmonious silence where we nearly beat the top score. More often setting the kitchen on fire and shouting though.


I’m not sure what a DLC expansion to a AAA release was doing at a primordially Indie event. There was a whole room dedicated to Just Cause 3: Sky Fortress, a room that was nearly the size of the ENTIRE Indie Games section. Here it is by comparison on the supplied map.


At no stage do I understand how this was worth it for Square Enix. It felt out of theme for the rest of the event celebrating PC/Indie/VR/Alternative Gaming, plus was the only area with lots of unplayed consoles at any time. I went up to try a version, and it was merely the full Just Cause 3 with no indication on how or where to start the DLC bit. It was odd and confusing anomaly in an otherwise excellent show. I got a fridge magnet though so 9/10 GOTY + Best in Show + I Accept Wire Transfer.


I love Warhammer. Back in my teen days hanging out at Games Workshop, Warhammer Fantasy was the more thoughtful and mature game about big men with weapons hitting big creatures compared to the more populist Warhammer 40K’s big space men with weapons hitting big space creatures. When 16 year olds around me were discovering other people could touch their genitals for them and go to gigs I was very excitedly hoping to roll a misfire on the first barrel then a six for the Hellblaster Volley Gun.

I’d hoped to get a little play of this in, but I’m terrible at being patient at these expos as I want to fit lots of things in. The one machine I sat down at to try it out had frozen so I gave up, but the bits I watched of other people playing this game makes me very excited. It’s looking to be a very good Total War game with Warhammer Fantasy daftness thrown in that the teen me always wanted (and installed mods trying to replicate).

General Event Thoughts…

Tobacco docks is still a brilliant venue, light and airy plus when you get tired of it all you’re a short walk away from all the cool things and food London has to offer. I don’t think I’ll bother with the main Eurogamer Expo again now it’s moved to Birmingham, being trapped on a show floor 30-60 minutes away from the City Center’s bars and good food last time killed the social reason I go to these events.

I met some great and lovely journos, devs and people this year, but some of the press side seemed especially cynical of the whole event and games in general. Back when I did it proper, Games Writing was lowly paid and highly competitive, a situation that has become worse. I can’t help but be a bit saddened over hearing folk seeing PR as their only way ‘out’, but that’s not too different to 5 years ago looking back on it. Still, when I’m job hunting myself and games continue to seem a fun thing to cover, it’s a mood killer seeing people in fortunate jobs feeling trapped there or that they can’t go on to other fun things due to the pressures of getting older.

Speaking of press at these events it feels weird to see barely any Print Journos about any more. Instead, there’s swathes of Youtubers pointing cameras whilst rollicking around the show floor that don’t interact with the traditional/online press in any form. It’s as though the Press side has a disparaging view of this medium and shuns them as unprofessional, whilst the Youtube side are either ignorant of the role of press or equally dismissive of them in turn as an outdated/’corrupt’ old guard. I’m just talking out of my arse here really.

All the VR stuff looked really exciting but I couldn’t be fucked with queuing or signing up to an appointment, and a show floor felt the wrong place to  fumble about in so it’ll be a mystery unchecked for now. I will say though that for Expos, the wet-wipeability of the HTC Vive and Playstation VR are a big plus compared to the fabric fitting of the Rift. 250+ people’s sweat all mingled together, a nice little sponge for your forehead.

I’m happy that an event like Rezzed exists where punters and small-time Indies can interact, and though I grumbled a bit about Just Cause 3’s presence I think having a few big ‘mainstream’ titles there helps ticket sales so long as they’re not dominating. If more people come to play those, then stick around the rest of the day to discover the other brilliance on offer then I think that’s a good thing.


Why I Rage-Quitted 2016’s Most Relaxing Game

Stardew Valley is the surprise hit of 2016. Within 12 days of launch, it sold roughly 425,000 copies making its talented solo-creator Eric Barone a sudden millionaire by estimate. It’s meant to be a relaxing farm simulation role-playing game with a heavy Harvest Moon influence. Friends lulled me into playing it with sweet whispers of its meditative and calming powers, that it was a massage for soul and mind.

Instead of finding a good massage I felt like I’d found a bad ureteroscopy. It was one of the most stressful gaming experiences I’ve had this year, but it’s all my fault.

I know how to fork
Me playing Stardew with the HTC Vive.

I knew I was starting to get in over my head when a cat turned up in the morning to live with me. I think it’s meant to be a sweet and adorable moment, but all I could think was this little furry bastard was another spanner in the works of my super-efficient country life dreams. I was already spinning too many plates in an ever increasing daily To-Do list. At this rate of burden on my finances and time I’d always live in a shack, a small shitty shack in the country.

Reflecting this new threat to my farming existence I tried to name the cat Chariman Meow, but as this was too long I settled in calling it Meowist. No time to dwell, as I’d accumulated 50 crops that needed tending on a daily basis. My Cauliflowers had been growing for 11 days and would be ripe to pick and sell for a big profit that could be re-invested tomorrow. I walked up to the first one, got my watering can ready and instead accidentally swung a pickaxe and destroyed it.

I stood for a moment dumb founded, before slamming ALT+F4 to quit the game. Then for the first time in my life I uninstalled a game not out of boredom but because, really, it had broken me. A single lost Cauliflower hadn’t caused this much emotional turmoil since the last Brassicaphile convention.

Having never played Harvest Moon back in the 90’s, I lack grounding for something like Stardew Valley. Most of my gaming time recently has been taken up with competitive multiplayer games like DOTA 2 and CS: GO, or intense single player experiences like XCOM 2. There’s really one common theme across my gaming repertoire of late; that if you don’t use your time well then when it comes to the late game, you’re going to be more fucked than a sperm bank’s communal fleshlight.

Stardew Valley starts with inheriting your Grandad’s old farm and you leaving your soul-crushing job at the game’s vague antagonist corporation, Joja. Only once you get to the farm you find it’s more crap-laden than the hall space at Crufts after a mass laxative spiking incident. Clearing out all the stones, trees and overgrown grass on the farm takes time and energy, and as you only have a limited energy bar and a ingame clock to contend with a whole day spent toiling away can often feel like very little was achieved.

Pictured: A Farm.
Pictured: A Farm.

Ontop of this the game starts to breadcrumb numerous trails to all the things you can do in it, often in the form of pleasant messages and gifts in your mailbox each morning. As the only things I’ve ever received in the real life mail from friends is 10kg of hot chocolate and a toothbrush, this is a novelty in of itself. Nice though these quests might be, I was soon losing head space to keep track of all the things I should be doing. Having mentally mapped out how much space could be cleared, where to explore and what needed to be bought & planted the next day it was soon tossed aside each time I woke up to a new letter.

A message came through saying that the mines had opened up. When checking it out, I was handed a sword and told to clear my way down to level 5. I was now playing a lite dungeon crawler RPG, fighting monsters and huffing the only thing I had in my inventory at that point for health; foraged dandelions. I don’t know where this fitted into my owning a farm. Having grown up in the Yorkshire countryside, my theory is you’re not allowed to be a full farmer till you’ve taken up a weapon and killed the shit out of something small and slightly edible. Probably. It might not have to be edible, I’m not sure.

As things were starting to get truly overwhelming a Wizard told me I needed to save nature, then I collapsed from exhaustion next to a pond and somebody robbed me in my sleep. It was now at the stage where I felt there were too many elements introduced for me to master even one effectively let alone several. Not knowing what skills or crops would be needed to pass later challenges, who I should’ve met or when I’d have to do so as the calendar marched ever forwards. All this culminated in my destroyed Cauliflower breakdown. I was beset by stressful challenges and micromanaging where others had described relaxation and gaming therapy. I tapped out.

37 Friends Can Be Wrong
37 Friends can be wrong

Having retreated to a game of DOTA and a beer to calm me down, it nagged me that Stardew Valley didn’t click with me. Talking to friends about it again, they were having the time of their lives setting up sprinklers, naming baby cows and harvesting turnips. I’d not been so eluded by the benefits of getting into green crops that zoned out all my friends since secondary school. Mentioning how worked up trying to keep on top of everything had made me, it was a comment from a friend that made me consider that maybe I’d been trying to make the game click on entirely the wrong terms.

“You know it doesn’t matter if you miss something right dude? It just rolls around again the next year, it’s always going to be there. Like, you don’t have to do everything. Just take it at your own pace”. It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that it didn’t matter about missing events, that the game had no grand set win or fail state. There was no need to get to the top of all the vocations as quick as possible. If I couldn’t socialise with a game nor master then beat it, what was the point of it?


In my crazy juggling of tasks, fishing had really struck a chord with me when playing the game. Testing myself, I cautiously reinstalled it (thankfully it’s a small download) and decided bollocks to everything going on, I’m going to get my rod out and play with myself tonight. It’s a strangely satisfying minigame, fishing in Stardew, and it’s all I did for 2 hours apart from a little light watering of my remaining cauliflowers. A daily walk to whatever bit of water I wanted, then spending the day calmly getting better at reeling fish in. It was the most relaxed I’d felt for weeks with a game, allowing myself to take this time to do not very much at all but appreciate the charming atmosphere.

That’s when I truly ‘got’ Stardew Valley’s appeal. It really is a magical zen space where you become one with nature, cordon it off then dig it up and sell it. The hints of new areas and things to do are just that, hints. Not secret or urgent content you need to unlock, merely new space there for when you feel ready for a change. No high scores, no competition, nowhere you need to press on to be just a sweet open story and carving out a space just for yourself.

After getting my rod all fishy I eventually put it and my tackle away, then picked up my hoe again and took a relaxed approach to the rest of the game. Rather than focusing on a singular task I was playing on whims. One day I might decide to chop down trees, the other I could try and win people over by giving them week-old Spaghetti. Soon I was managing all sorts at once, but destroying a Cauliflower or two didn’t matter at all because at last, I was at ease.

I had to unlearn every gaming instinct I’d unknowingly built up over the years on how to approach a game when it came to Stardew Valley. Here was a title that didn’t ask you to ‘game’ it in making it break to your will & skill, merely that you play it. It’s not stopped me seeking and enjoying challenge in new games mind. What it has done is made me pause and consider having a more malleable mindset to appreciating experiences outside my comfort zone, on their own terms. That’s the beauty of play that games can bring out which, if it wasn’t for some gentle coaxing by friends, I might have entirely missed out upon in Stardew due to my usual approach.